Thursday, 31 December 2015

a "cacamarba" random post

I decided to write today and managed to catch one snippet of my thought that was flying at 100mph in my mind. It's about 'passtime' or passion vs time.haha just to make it complicated.. Well, when it comes to this topic, what comes first to my mind is the 103th Surah in the Holy Quran that we are all familiar with since childhood, which is Surah al-'asr. *but I'm not going to elaborate about it.*
Have you ever wonder to where did your time go? *especially during a long holiday*
You wake up every morning and do all the routines- performing subuh prayer, take a bath, breakfast/brunch, indulge in books and yada yada yada. You are so bogged down with work and life and suddenly you are in the kitchen, doing household chores-cooking , cleaning , *that have to be done regularly at home*, yelling at your brother who make a mess here and there until it's time to bed. The next morning you start a new day but the same routine ,in and out. Sometimes you go for a short excursion or hanging out with your friends or do something that makes you happy. But, is there something you are passionate about ? 
It's amazing to see someone dedicate his/her time on what he/she is passionate about. Like photographing, writing novels and inspiring others, attending this and that event and so on. I dont know what things I'm passionate about really. Rewinding back to the time I was small, I still remember that I love to practice handwriting skill. I love to take my mom's book or planner and rewrite back every sentences therein contained. 
It maybe sounds weird to you, but I got used to it and somehow my handwriting became beautiful from day to day. even my primary school teacher put her trust on me to write all the names of student in the 'kehadiran book'. haha. really hardworking you see. how i wish that good element still exists in me. *sigh*. There were times I changed my passion to playing dolls. and other times to drawing and coloring. Those days back then were the glorious time of my achievement in my life. who would have thought that your hobby sometimes could pay you a great deal. The most vivid memories that I have was during my achievement in a coloring contest in standard 1- got the 1st prize and brought along a voucher 3 days and 2 nights to Swiss Garden Hotel, Kuantan. Seeing my parents happy that day was enough for me. plus 2 of my sisters got the 3rd prize but in different categories. well thats mean there were 3 vouchers altogether lol. heaven ! 

I really love my childhood memories in all honesty. one of the sweetest thoughts that still lingering around my head , still vividly clear till now is we loved to participate in any contests- be it in medias or in reality. Talking about media contest , once, there was a cartoon show- which is not so popular- called = Cheezels. have you ever heard about it? i dunno whether it's still popular in other country but in Malaysia i guess not lol . 
however we loved to watch it soo much and after one episode passed, there would be a question that we should answer in order to win the prize. and that question was  damn soo easy ! as easy as an abc. just direct questions like , what is the name of his friend, how old is he *something like that.* lol anyone can answer that if they watched it. or maybe if they seek help from the internet. Reluctant as we were, we decided to participate it and Alhamdulillah , all of us won. *not to mention the RM200 x 5 vouchers  to Toys"R"Us that we got lol*  ahhhhhhhhhhhh if only times can go backwards.

As I grew older , I started drifting away from these hobbies of mine. I guess I was caught up in a rat race or maybe other things were taking too much of my time. *excuses detected* There's not much time to invest our time on hobbies because we can just sit idly on the sofa and scroll down on people's life. Likes everywhere you see the  'like button', comments if u have mood.. see what they are eating , holiday trips , latest events or fashions- tudung collections especially. No no.. i'm not pointing to anyone but me. yes , me. i'm feeling really bad now. social network took up too much of my time i guess. Nevertheless I'm slowly realizing that i should pursue what i am passionate about. ya , before its too late. though I dont know to where my passion falls into,*not specific cuz there are too many of it but I'm not pro in any* just pray tht i manage to find one in 2016. *feeling hopeless* haha. 
theres still that residual feeling of anticipation of what's to come. and as for now, I guess as we grow older, we just wake up every morning thinking of the things we need to do for the day and just try our best to do it. and if we r lucky, we get some free time to really do something that we r passionate about. of course i want to achieve some things personally but very simple stuff hihi. i guess one of it would be to blog more? blog, can you be really nice to me? please bring me the mood when looking at you. 

we'll seee. 


just about to finish writing this post ,one whatssap popped up on screen, stated as mentioned. maybe i have to challenge myself more. so 2016, especially to my dear self, let's smash trough the limits you previously imposed yourself and being your own happiness. do the things that you loved, not the things that you are being forced to do. 

Sunday, 6 December 2015

So Far So Good

It has been about 2 months I've been potatoing at home. With..

  • No homework
  • No assignments 
  • No presentations
  • No group discussions
  • No usrah
  • No riadhah 
  • No gym
  • No consultation
  • No tutorial&quizzes
  • No buying food
  • No spending money
  • No library
  • No blackout at Mahallah
  • No netball

and so many No that Uni students not-so-keen-to-do but later on come to miss every single thing that they had back then before holiday.

well now I admit that I'm bored ! hahaha. but not really,

So many times i had the urge to go out and find a job anywhere around here , or hanging out with my primary school friends or attending cooking class *bvuur* .. but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
err okay finela to be honest, i was entangled to a korean series-that kept me busy. 20 episodes, an hour each. and even worser, i kept repeating the same episodes again and again ! That was 20hrs times infinity of my life  wasted in front of the screen lol . please don't copy me. XD

and surely i could have finished a total number of books already.
the one that has been kept for 6 years of my life in the cupboard full of cobwebs..
the one that I got from my beloved friends- tukar2 hadiah
Reader's Digest my mom subscribed every month
the recycle books that I took from my secondary school
and the book that my mom bought me sooo  long time ago and boy was I ecstatic to be able to finish it yesterday lol. Imagine how reading would actually help me during my excruciating confinement at home. everything that I miss, my friends, my catalyst, my lecturers*not so* was somehow ceased to exist through reading. It helps me to meet a new company .. a new character that i've never met before.and it also helps to reduce pain tho.XD and I am thankful for that. To finally find the cure... cure of boredomness.:)

Frankly speaking, I am not actually that kind of person who loves reading.Until this one inspiring and appealing creature, which I called 'it' Catalyst , register to my life. Transforming me to a new mature and nerdy  me *ceewah* and obviously reading has become part of my hobby.  Catalyst if you're reading this, I hope you are doing good. *wink*wink*

So for the sake of update, this should be a short post.. I'm sorry .:3
will come back blogging after my family-vacay is over! pray for our safety peeps!

until then.
addu'a biddu'a.

Thursday, 3 December 2015

Future Me

Dear the adult version of me,

This is your 'last teen' of self saying, and you will be going to the next version of you..
One day , you're gonna get married. Choose carefully and wisely the one you would be spending the rest of your life with. Do not expect him to be like Edward Cullen or Tom Vladimir or whatever you might think . they are all human being , nothing perfect and yes, physical attractiveness, wealth, and status are the things that needed to be considered. but those are just  supposed to be considered , never PRIORITIZED ! what's a priority is his Iman. yeah, no one can measure iman, but you get what i mean right ? I know you do. cuz you are me and I'm you. we're just in different time frames. and Syikin, just so you know, if you want to marry the  right person, you first have to be the right one! if you want to marry a kind man. you first have to be kind okay.

hey wait a minute!
what the hell am I saying just now?
ermahged Syikin...
there's more to life than getting married and popping babies. i mean, think of all the books you could read in your spare time..think of the experiences that you can get in your uni life...joining this and that... think of the juzu' in the Quran that u have been longing to memorize...think of all the knowledge that u have it sufficient enough to guide you towards the future?  that has to take some getting used to.

and Syikin...
I hope you can achieve whatever u have wished for  in your life.
I know you want to be an ***********/*** **********.
So work for it ! you have another 5 months to complete your foundation. though u took longer than others, doesn't mean u fail or fool right?
make the best out of it ! never procrastinate never and never..
Allah has placed Al Hikmah there.
the plan is this , study really hard. get your scholarship, get the course that u want, make mom and dad proud of you, be happy and be healthy, yup be HEALTHY ! cuz without health... how are you going to develop a future you mannnnn..

I hope when I read this one day, I'd be once again, eager to finish this goal of mine.
if Allah does not will it for me to pursue this plan of mine , I will try to accept it with an open heart. InshaaAllah.

In 3:54,
And the disbelievers planned , but Allah planned. and Allah is the best of planners.

This ayah remains as one of my favourite verses in the Quran.

until then..pray for me ! :)