a "cacamarba" random post

I decided to write today and managed to catch one snippet of my thought that was flying at 100mph in my mind. It's about 'passtime' or passion vs time.haha just to make it complicated.. Well, when it comes to this topic, what comes first to my mind is the 103th Surah in the Holy Quran that we are all familiar with since childhood, which is Surah al-'asr. *but I'm not going to elaborate about it.*

Have you ever wonder to where did your time go? *especially during a long holiday*

You wake up every morning and do all the routines- performing subuh prayer, take a bath, breakfast/brunch, indulge in books and yada yada yada. You are so bogged down with work and life and suddenly you are in the kitchen, doing household chores-cooking , cleaning , *that have to be done regularly at home*, yelling at your brother who make a mess here and there until it's time to bed. The next morning you start a new day but the same routine ,in and out. Sometimes you go for a short excursion or hanging out with your friends or do something that makes you happy. But, is there something you are passionate about ? 

It's amazing to see someone dedicate his/her time on what he/she is passionate about. Like photographing, writing novels and inspiring others, attending this and that event and so on. I dont know what things I'm passionate about really. Rewinding back to the time I was small, I still remember that I love to practice handwriting skill. I love to take my mom's book or planner and rewrite back every sentences therein contained. 

It maybe sounds weird to you, but I got used to it and somehow my handwriting became beautiful from day to day. even my primary school teacher put her trust on me to write all the names of student in the 'kehadiran book'. haha. really hardworking you see. how i wish that good element still exists in me. *sigh*. There were times I changed my passion to playing dolls. and other times to drawing and coloring. Those days back then were the glorious time of my achievement in my life. who would have thought that your hobby sometimes could pay you a great deal. The most vivid memories that I have was during my achievement in a coloring contest in standard 1- got the 1st prize and brought along a voucher 3 days and 2 nights to Swiss Garden Hotel, Kuantan. Seeing my parents happy that day was enough for me. plus 2 of my sisters got the 3rd prize but in different categories. well thats mean there were 3 vouchers altogether lol. heaven ! 

I really love my childhood memories in all honesty. one of the sweetest thoughts that still lingering around my head , still vividly clear till now is we loved to participate in any contests- be it in medias or in reality. Talking about media contest , once, there was a cartoon show- which is not so popular- called = Cheezels. have you ever heard about it? i dunno whether it's still popular in other country but in Malaysia i guess not lol . 

however we loved to watch it soo much and after one episode passed, there would be a question that we should answer in order to win the prize. and that question was  damn soo easy ! as easy as an abc. just direct questions like , what is the name of his friend, how old is he *something like that.* lol anyone can answer that if they watched it. or maybe if they seek help from the internet. Reluctant as we were, we decided to participate it and Alhamdulillah , all of us won. *not to mention the RM200 x 5 vouchers  to Toys"R"Us that we got lol*  ahhhhhhhhhhhh if only times can go backwards.

As I grew older , I started drifting away from these hobbies of mine. I guess I was caught up in a rat race or maybe other things were taking too much of my time. *excuses detected* There's not much time to invest our time on hobbies because we can just sit idly on the sofa and scroll down on people's life. Likes everywhere you see the  'like button', comments if u have mood.. see what they are eating , holiday trips , latest events or fashions- tudung collections especially. No no.. i'm not pointing to anyone but me. yes , me. i'm feeling really bad now. social network took up too much of my time i guess. Nevertheless I'm slowly realizing that i should pursue what i am passionate about. ya , before its too late. though I dont know to where my passion falls into,*not specific cuz there are too many of it but I'm not pro in any* just pray tht i manage to find one in 2016. *feeling hopeless* haha. 

theres still that residual feeling of anticipation of what's to come. and as for now, I guess as we grow older, we just wake up every morning thinking of the things we need to do for the day and just try our best to do it. and if we r lucky, we get some free time to really do something that we r passionate about. of course i want to achieve some things personally but very simple stuff hihi. i guess one of it would be to blog more? blog, can you be really nice to me? please bring me the mood when looking at you. 

we'll seee. 

" EACH STEP INTO THE UNKNOWN IS ANOTHER STEP CLOSER TO SELF-DISCOVERY"

Gulp.

just about to finish writing this post ,one whatssap popped up on screen, stated as mentioned. maybe i have to challenge myself more. so 2016, especially to my dear self, let's smash trough the limits you previously imposed yourself and being your own happiness. do the things that you loved, not the things that you are being forced to do.